Premarital & Marital Mentoring
Couples mentoring isn't just for troubled relationships. Mentoring is a valuable tool for couples at any stage, from dating to long-term marriage.
Just like regular checkups for your physical health, these short sessions can help equip you with improved communication skills, strengthen your bond, and guide you as you navigate challenges together.
By investing in your relationship, you're investing in a happier, healthier future for yourselves and potentially your family as well.
Mentoring for Dating and Engaged Couples
Why bother?
The experts tell us that marriages report higher levels of marital satisfaction when couples start having relationship conversations and mentoring before the marriage even begins. These relationships also enjoy statistically better long term outcomes. You are making a very wise decision to seek out counsel and support as part of your engagement process. We want to be part of the prayerful, wise, Spirit-filled community helping you prepare well for this next stage, so that you have all you need for a lifetime journey together.
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In addition to community based mentoring, we have found great value in couples completing the SYMBIS Assessment. This assessment does two great things for couples:
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It brings to light potential risk factors, and provides space to have positive conversations about them.
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It optimizes the combined strengths of you as a couple by assessing everything from psychological well-being, to revealing how your combined personalities can be leveraged for optimal success.
By combining the SYMBIS Assessment along side partnering with mentors within our community, we create a robust, personalized, and powerful approach to strengthening your marriage before it starts.
Mentoring for Married Couples
A growth mindset is key to sustaining a healthy marriage. But sometimes we can feel stuck and in need of an outside perspective. Married couples that participate in our mentoring program will be paired with a couple that is further along in the marriage journey.
Similar to the premarital program, the goal of mentorship is to be paired with couples farther along in the marriage journey to act as sounding boards, ask challenging questions, help you wrestle with Godly wisdom in the relationship, and to be a source of encouragement in the highs and the lows of your marriage.
Every relationship is different, but typically married couples will meet 5-7 times with their mentoring couple, and complete the SYMBIS assessment to help identify areas for growth and celebration.
Resources for Couples of All Ages
Books:
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Relationship and Dating themed Books:
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Beyond Awkward Side Hugs - by Bronwyn Lea
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Party of One: Truth, Longing, and the Subtle Art of Singleness - by Joy Beth Smith
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Boundaries in Dating - by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Premarital Books:
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Married for God: Making Your Marriage The Best It Can Be - by Christopher Ash
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9 Essential Conversations before you say I Do - by Gary Thomas & the Wilkes’
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Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before, and After, you Marry - by Drs Les & Leslie Parrott
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Marriage (and Divorce) Books:
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
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Divorce and Remarriage in the Church - by David Instone-Brewer
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Boundaries in Marriage - by Cloud and Townsend (a marriage-essential)
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Marriage In The Middle - Embracing Midlife Surprises, Challenges, and Joys - by Dorothy Greco
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A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy - by Dr. Doug Rosenau (see also a version for newlyweds)
Podcasts:
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Relationship and Dating themed Podcasts
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The Place We Find Ourselves - by Adam Young
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Single, Dating, Engaged Married Podcast - by Ben Stuart
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Love Dates and Heartbreaks series - by Andy Stanley
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What Happy Couples Know series - by Andy Stanley
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True Love Dates - by Debra Fileta
Premarital Podcast:
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Good Sex, Bad Sex, and Marriage - with Dr. Juli Slattery - from Theology In The Raw
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What is the purpose of this mentoring program?The goal of this program is for couples at different stages (pre-marital, newlywed, and more seasoned) to be paired with couples farther along in the marriage journey to act as objective third party sounding boards, ask curious challenging questions, wrestle with Godly wisdom in the relationship, and be a source of encouragement in the highs and the lows of marriage. Logistically, this looks like filling out an assessment and meeting with a mentor couple 5-7 times to discuss key relationship principles and talk through the challenges and joys you are experiencing as a couple. In addition, the mentorship and resources provided on relationships aim to walk couples out of a culturally-warped view of relationships, dating, marriage, and sex, and into a more robust understanding of relationship topics. This perspective shift aims to glorify God, the Creator and originator of loving relationships.
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What does the SYMBIS Assessment Cover?The Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts assessment was developed by Christian therapists Dr Les and Leslie Parrott. We will use the following resources that they have developed: ​ The SYMBIS couples assessment, which will give the two of you a detailed overview of where you're at. It takes about 30 minutes to fill in separately, and then over several weeks as you meet with your mentor, they will go through the results of your report with you to talk through your unique relationship shape and strengths. The Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts book. A Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts workbook for each of you.
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How long does this mentoring program take?Every situation is different but couples typically will meet 5-7 times with their mentors over a period of 2-4 months.
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How much does the assessment and mentoring cost?The cost for the premarital mentoring program (which includes the assessment and the books) is $100. You can send that to FBC online or via check - just put Pre-marital mentoring in the notes. There is no additional cost for the actual mentoring sessions.
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Olivia Wingate
Marriage Ministry Consultant